We all at one point or the other in our lives have been hurt.
There’s that person that treated you the way you never expected them to.
Maybe you’ve survived somethings more traumatic- a heartbreak, an armed robbery. Or maybe you’ve just come out of a very trying situation and though you know you’ll eventually recover, you still feel pain that seems unbearable.
Whatever, the case may be, you’ve been hurt and you carry it with you through many of your days.
I just discover pills that cures hurts.Here are the pills, it taken in the right dosage, you’ll feel better before you know it.
1. Specify Your Pain
It is not always easy to identify and understand what’s hurting you. Some people even stay in abusive relationship because its safer than acknowledging their many layers of pain; the low-self esteem that convinces them they deserve abuse, the shame over being treated with such cruelty and the feeling of desperation that convinces them there’s no real way out.
2. Try To Stay In The Present
Reliving the past can be addictive. It gives you the opportunity to do it again and respond differently- to fight back instead of submitting, to speak your mind instead of silencing yourself. It also allows you to possibly understand better. What happen? Where did you go wrong? What should you have done?
3. Please Stop Telling Your Story
It may seem like another way to understand what happened or maybe it feels helpful to hear someone say you didn’t do anything wrong and you don’t deserve to hurt. In all reality, this is just keep you struck right where you are, living your life around a memory and giving it power to control you.
No amount of assurance will change what happened, you can’t find happiness when you let it go and make room for something better. You don’t need another person’s permission to let go and feel OK.
4. “Abeg” Stop Playing The Blame/ Victim Game
Maybe you were a victim. Maybe someone did horrible things to you fell into an unfortunate set circumstances through no fault of your own. It still doesn’t serve you to sit around feeling bad for yourself, blaming other people. In fact, it only hold you back, you can’t feel good if you use this moment to feel bad about another person’s action.
The only true way to experience happiness is to take responsibility for creating it, whether other people made it easy for you or not. You’re not responsible for your attitude now. Why let someone who hurt you in the past have power over your present.
5. Don’t Let The Pain Become Your Identity
If everything you do and all your relationship centers around something that hurt you, it will be harder for you to move on, you may even come to appreciate what that identity gives you attention, the illusion of understanding or the warmth of compassion for example.
You have to consider the possibility, there’s a greater sense of happiness in completely releasing your story. That you’d feel better than you can even imagine, you’d stop letting your pain define you . You can have a sad story in your past without building your present around it.
6. Reconnect with who you were before the pain, it’s not easy to release a pain identity, particularly if you’ve carried it around for a long time. It may help to remember who you were before that experience or to consider who you were before that or to consider who you might have become it it hadn’t happened. You can still be that person, someone who doesn’t feel bitter or angry so frequently , if you want to feel and be peaceful and happy, start by identifying what that look like- what you think about, what you feel, what you do, how you interact with people. Odds are this process will remind you both how you want to be and how you don’t want to be.
And
7. Focus On Things That Brings You Joy In The Moment
You don’t have to focus on completely letting go of your pain forever, you just have to make room for you right now. Start simple. What’s something you can enjoy in this moment, regardless of what pain you’ve experienced? Would watching a movie brighten you up? Would calling your sister bring you joy? Would reading my blog make you happy…..lol
Focus on ‘now’ and allow, yourself a little peace. You’ll be surprised how easily ‘nows’ can add up when you focus on them as the come.
8. Share That Joy With Other People
We often isolate ourselves when we’re hurting because it feels safer than showing people our vulnerability. What we fail to realize that we don’t have to feel vulnerable all the time. We can choose certain people for support and then allow ourselves time with others without involving our painful stories.
You can share a meal, a movie, a moment of your day. But as you share joy with people you love, you may find you need that sad story a lot less.
Everyone deserves to feel happy. You deserve to feel HAPPY.
We can only provide those things for ourselves
Photo credit: 3bp
